waiting for the magic pill...

Each day I take the elevators down 57 floors at my mom’s place to check the mail for her Cannibus Card. I think I am more excited than her (probably because I get a caretaker card and can go to the dispensary as well). Today I ran down again as usual and it still wasn’t there and as I returned mom says “oh no card for you” and looks at me to comfort my disappointment. I looked at her and told her “mom this is for you so you can be happy and hungry and sleepy and not nauseas and help kill your cancer cells!”. At that point I realized just like most people I was looking for a quick fix and that I needed to readjust my thoughts and reality……

Rationale goes out the door when life throws you a curveball sometimes BUT as I steer back on track I remember all the holistic and conventional things that can be possibilities when it comes to  healing from chronic disease. I am humbled by all who serve in the health industry but am also disappointed by how everyone just can’t find a way to work together. I am talking about Traditional and Conventional medicine practices. ( for those of you not familiar think surgery and drugs vs. food as medicine, meditation and alternative therapies) I am confused and saddened that it is a choose one or the other and one is paid by insurance and one is not. I am happy they are both options BUT sad that people don’t know or consider both options and that financials can sway you one way or another. I am happy that people care to study these practices BUT sad that some only consider their practice the best version and are closed to supporting other versions or using all options to support each other.

This all takes me back to the idea that “if you stop trying to be right” then life gets better. I believe this whole heartedly. It’s listening and communicating in a way that is with love and with an open mind and heart. No matter what you do or who you are if we can all just listen to each other and take into consideration that every person is different and not everything works for everybody the same way. I think life would be better and more joyous. I am talking about individuals, families, corporations, government, etc. What a world that would be right? Imagine if government said ok Tami, ok mom,  we will give you the opportunity to explore Cannibus and Infrared Sauna and Hyperbaric chamber for your health care since that is HOW you CHOOSE to heal yourself. Paid for by insurance! We support you Tami, and mom. THAT would be a nice fucking world. Just because you might not believe in these protocols doesn’t mean I should not have a choice. Health Insurance in America is a one-way street and personally I am sick of it. If you don’t believe in my version you can suck it cuz I believe in myself and that is all that is what I need to heal so you can help or hinder. Your choice.

I digress and take a breathe because I know that we are all doing the best we can based on what we know so perhaps this is the start of a plea or movement or begging to change what we are and how we do things and what we believe and how we choose to be. Perhaps I am just emotional because my mother is struggling with health. Perhaps  I am pissed because I keep looking for  the  next magic pill to help my mom and nothing seems to be working. In the end I am still pissed that health insurance takes away choices because certain people believe certain things and report certain things and I am still pissed that Surgeons seem to ignore the importance of nutrition, and I am SO sad for all the patients that go through conventional medicine thinking THAT is all they can do for themselves because someone with medical authority told them so. Super fucking pissed. There I got it off my chest. Yes I am pro alternative medicine BUT I also believe in all forms of medicine in some capacity. Everybody is different and needs a different formula to help heal themselves. I guess the best formula I can give is to educate yourself, be open to all things, believe in yourself and your opinions, keep going, and be kind and loving to everyone along the way.

What would you do if you were dying? What would you do if a family member was dying? What would you do if a friend was dying? Enough with Pink ribbons and red ribbons, etc, taking action does not mean get a mammogram or donate to a cancer research organization (yes I am actually saying this ) THAT is the brainwashed way to contribute- HELPING means taking matters into your own hands and living a healthy life and helping each other do so and choosing to give yourself whole heartedly to what rings true to YOU. So be brave , experience life, and make the choices that feel best for you no matter what and no matter what ANYBODY else says. YOU are your best advocate so start living like it! Stop searching for the next magic pill and believe in yourself and the concept that everything is ok and life is always working out for us.

Just my judgmental and critical 2cents for now. I just needed a pep talk for myself so thanks for listening to my rant.


Tami xo