opening up to freedom within...

What’s that buzzing in my head? Oh it’s just another download of information from the universe working it all out  in divine order. My crown chakra feels high and I feel lighter and happier and clearer and am more directional in thought. It’s like the world takes over and the energy whirlwinds around and blows magic dust within all of us. At least that is what I feel at this moment in time. We open up in ways that are  unexplainable and we really don’t need to go out and tell everyone, we just be it.

I had a FaceTime with my aunt today and had another personal  growth spurt when she spewed out all the black lives matter knowledge she knew about to date. I was happy and delighted that she took the time at age 78 to give a shit about how people feel and to educate herself on something that was so in our face today. She was thoughtful and acknowledged her past beliefs and how she understood how black people felt to some degree. She admitted her biases and was not accusatory of herself in her past thoughts and beliefs, but understood she was part of a system and society and she was a reflection of that existence. She was compassionate and methodical and loving in her thoughts and new beliefs. I felt proud and happy on many levels. It was another human perspective and willingness to be open and expressive in a gentle manner that was easy to digest and understand and feel thankful for. It was an example of being ourselves and that we are all teachers in different manners. It was a conversation that helped me to gain some clarity for myself and my own purpose. It was a great example of how to live life. So thanks auntie!

As I ponder what is next for me in life, as we all move through what is now, I feel like a combination of a sponge, a chia head, dora the explorer, and dust in the wind that floats arounds existing within everyones space being an observer.  I have clarity that my purpose is to spread the message of how to open up to freedom within ourselves. I now am in awe that all the past “stuff” in my life and current happenings have all been a set up for my future. I am proud to have been born with a natural equality thinking mind and had “things” happen in my life that urgently and passionately pushed me ever so gracefully into leading by example and knowing the desire within to feel and be complete freedom. It’s like everything just makes complete sense now. Not sure I can even explain better or that I even want to right now. Not saying I have it all figured out. I don’t think it ever gets all figured out. I don’t think there is anything to figure out. Not sure if that even makes sense.

My slow but steady  #watchmefly journey has taken twists and turns I could never have even dreamed up. I still cannot believe that I lead such a prior catatonic life that was the lead-in to an almost 2nd life full of aliveness and bliss and much more of a pleasant experience and existence. I feel thankful and full of lots of never ending love for myself and all of humanity and the universe and mother nature. I feel joy to know that I could actually give back to humanity by helping others to see through my new lenses. I feel a deep bliss that I might have some helpful tools and knowledge and insight into how to get to that freedom within. I feel a steady vision that from all the dark always come a lightness and that my vision is stuck in this one-dimensional view for now. Again, really unexplainable, just going with the universal flow.

I see myself along with all humanity really “waking up” to some extent. I was taking stock of what my education has been to date and what I feel I currently believe and have learned and where it got me. I understand I was lucky enough to be educated through a college level and was also able to add many additional certifications after college. I was lucky to have jobs and experiences and titles that indicated I was excelling and growing. I was lucky to have parents and family and friends that enabled an internal growth for myself and different perspectives on life and how to exist and live. On the flip side I also realize that some of these attachments to these “things” created a disconnection on how I was living and my true purpose and ability to connect with humanity. It was past perspective and now I have new perspective.

To date just about every single relationship in my life has changed over the past 5 years. The biggest one would be the relationship with myself. I had no idea this was important and vital and key to opening up to our freedoms. I was dumb and knew nothing and didn’t know any better. I was also pure love and the intention was always good. Now I know something. If I were to die today I am so glad I know that something. It’s just a piece of the pie and I still feel like a spec of dust on this earth. My ego is in check and I am actually friend with my ego rather than foe. I feel like the lotus slowly opening up. Yes it is an awakening. I am so thankful and happy. I still have my egotistical days and all emotions but that reminds me I am human and we are all part of the process and needed to keep it all evolving and expanding. We are all important in these snapshots.

the universe has been showing us for years that dark turns to light, that storms come and go, and that it is still a beautiful place to be...

I feel lucky to still be here. I feel lucky to have and be able to see my own personal attributes clearly so I can use my power gracefully. I have always been a “big picture” thinker and viewer. I consider it my best “quality” as a human that is “doing”and taking action. I feel lucky to be an equal and to see that equality within all of us. Many times it was hard to support myself and feel equal and believe in myself due to the past. Hopefully all my self-work has obliterated any negative self-belief out of the water. I think it takes bucking the systems, standing up for yourself and being your own advocate. And even nicer when done in a pleasant manner so more of the masses can digest what it is in front of them. After all we are all teachers in some capacity. At least that is what I believe. From my experience, this freedom from within takes moving through fear, letting go, accepting ourselves and all of humanity. I look forward to leading by example and giving gifts. It sounds fun to me. It sounds like a good way to live. 


If you are reading this, thank you. I am hopeful to continue my writing and exploring that 2nd half of life with myself and all of humanity. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.


I will leave you with all the phrases that leaked out of my head today. They are representative of some of what I have learned to date about life…


Educate and research to better ourselves and others and help change beliefs to a positive perspective

Absorb new thoughts and ideas and re-train the brain with repetition

Come to our own conclusions and advocate

Open your heart and mind

Take care of your body

Allow yourself to feel your emotions and try not to numb yourself out cuz it’s too intense

Get and stay connected with the essence of who you are

Manage and be friends with your ego and enjoy the human elements

Lead by example

Support others endeavors when it feels good for you 

You can change your mind and direction at any time or place

Maintain your own and stay connected with the universal energy

Enjoy the moments, the journeys, and the processes

Maintain love and compassion and gift giving

Put yourself in other peoples shoes

Be a great listener

Communicate what you want nicely

Tune into how and what people are feeling to develop your compassion

Give praise 

Be thankful

Smile and laugh

Let go and enjoy the ride

Continue self-expansion, self- compassion, self-love, and self-acceptance and practice the same with all individuals