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i get it from my mama....

11/19/2018

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Seeing and remembering pictures and moments of being a little girl reminds me of my mother. They are happy memories. They are free memories. They are moments that helped define where I am today as a woman. I see pictures of me as a child and see and feel vividly where and how I got to  be a human with a whole bunch of my mothers' characteristics and qualities and thoughts just seemingly pasted on me like an art project that has lots of “character” to it. I am appreciative of all that was passed on to me, I am grateful to all that was drilled into me ever so softly, and I am in awe at how I came to be… really. I like to jokingly tell my mom it’s “all her fault” when something goes awry and we laugh and giggle cuz we know it’s partially true and mostly not true. We both take full responsibility for ourselves and fully understand we bring on everything by ourselves and this is probably why we laugh. We have been frustrated and angry with each other at times and we always enjoy the sunshine together. We are willing to try the same things BUT we like different things. We get it. We get each other.

A mother can guide you, fix your boo boo’s on the spot, prepare you for the real world, show you how to get yourself together on the outside to make a good impression, can show you how to always be ready, she will be there in an instant when no-one else is there, she will jump through hoops to make sure you get to where you want to be, she will give you the LOOK when you are NOT on the right track, she will laugh at all your jokes even when aimed sarcastically at her, she will go get a coffee and talk with you when everyone else is busy, she gets more excited than you when YOU advance in life, she prepares the best gifts for you cuz she’s known you since birth, she walks to her own drummer, she talks when needed and listens fully when it is important, she is ride or die even if she doesn’t know it, AND that is all BEFORE she even starts to think about her own day.

I am not a mother but just letting flow out of this keyboard what seems to be true of my own mother and the mothers I have seen in action. I don’t think I will ever see a natural born motherhood from myself in this lifetime so I take time to understand what that role really encapsulates. I like to consider myself with good intuition, can see the whole picture, and can really empathize with others type of person. I THINK that makes me special?. :) Go ahead and count yourself into this category as well so we can all feel good together. :) (still smiling) … I know perfectly well that everyone is special and we are all here to experience life and be a human and to be creative and have fun, and whatever else you believe! Which brings me to WHAT really provoked this  blog… knowing who I am on the inside and rediscovering WHO and WHAT I am and WHERE I want to GO and BE and WHO and WHAT I want to experience, and WHY am I here and HOW do I reach bliss and HOW do I wake up every morning feeling happy?  WELL… for me I look at this dance group picture up above that I have posted and remember it ALL!! Just like I never forgot, just like I know the exact path, just like I have all the feel good feelings, just like I am beyond prepared and ready for anything type of look, just like that feeling of ease is expressed and felt so familiarly, just like “i got this “ type of look, just confident , in the front row, smiley and poised, ready for anything type of look. Yep, I got it from my momma and THIS picture sure oozes my mom from what I have become to know of her to date. It also oozes the true essence of WHO I am,  WHAT my aura and demeanor say about what is going on inside, and WHAT POSSIBILITIES are in front of me. NOW all I have to do is remember, believe it , go for it, and be happy going through the process, and milking all the goodness out of the actual manifestations of what my desires bring to reality for myself.

The journey continues for our family, for myself, and my mom who is a #truetrooper and we all are rooting for "judy on the loose"
( another story in the making) to make a comeback in her own cancer journey. I don't have all the words to express the past couple months but I CAN see the goodness coming out of this contrast.  The 2nd half of life and the last 1/4 of life are ones that were very unfamiliar to me only a handful of years ago. Today seems like a new lifetime and a new outlook on what life is, what life brings, how we navigate ourselves through it, and how we choose to look and be within it..... much love and peace and health and bliss to you all.

Happy Holidays and as always thanks for listening... Tami xo


This is my beautiful mother…..​

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waiting for the magic pill...

11/14/2018

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Each day I take the elevators down 57 floors at my mom’s place to check the mail for her Cannibus Card. I think I am more excited than her (probably because I get a caretaker card and can go to the dispensary as well). Today I ran down again as usual and it still wasn’t there and as I returned mom says “oh no card for you” and looks at me to comfort my disappointment. I looked at her and told her “mom this is for you so you can be happy and hungry and sleepy and not nauseas and help kill your cancer cells!”. At that point I realized just like most people I was looking for a quick fix and that I needed to readjust my thoughts and reality……

Rationale goes out the door when life throws you a curveball sometimes BUT as I steer back on track I remember all the holistic and conventional things that can be possibilities when it comes to  healing from chronic disease. I am humbled by all who serve in the health industry but am also disappointed by how everyone just can’t find a way to work together. I am talking about Traditional and Conventional medicine practices. ( for those of you not familiar think surgery and drugs vs. food as medicine, meditation and alternative therapies) I am confused and saddened that it is a choose one or the other and one is paid by insurance and one is not. I am happy they are both options BUT sad that people don’t know or consider both options and that financials can sway you one way or another. I am happy that people care to study these practices BUT sad that some only consider their practice the best version and are closed to supporting other versions or using all options to support each other.

This all takes me back to the idea that “if you stop trying to be right” then life gets better. I believe this whole heartedly. It’s listening and communicating in a way that is with love and with an open mind and heart. No matter what you do or who you are if we can all just listen to each other and take into consideration that every person is different and not everything works for everybody the same way. I think life would be better and more joyous. I am talking about individuals, families, corporations, government, etc. What a world that would be right? Imagine if government said ok Tami, ok mom,  we will give you the opportunity to explore Cannibus and Infrared Sauna and Hyperbaric chamber for your health care since that is HOW you CHOOSE to heal yourself. Paid for by insurance! We support you Tami, and mom. THAT would be a nice fucking world. Just because you might not believe in these protocols doesn’t mean I should not have a choice. Health Insurance in America is a one-way street and personally I am sick of it. If you don’t believe in my version you can suck it cuz I believe in myself and that is all that is what I need to heal so you can help or hinder. Your choice.

I digress and take a breathe because I know that we are all doing the best we can based on what we know so perhaps this is the start of a plea or movement or begging to change what we are and how we do things and what we believe and how we choose to be. Perhaps I am just emotional because my mother is struggling with health. Perhaps  I am pissed because I keep looking for  the  next magic pill to help my mom and nothing seems to be working. In the end I am still pissed that health insurance takes away choices because certain people believe certain things and report certain things and I am still pissed that Surgeons seem to ignore the importance of nutrition, and I am SO sad for all the patients that go through conventional medicine thinking THAT is all they can do for themselves because someone with medical authority told them so. Super fucking pissed. There I got it off my chest. Yes I am pro alternative medicine BUT I also believe in all forms of medicine in some capacity. Everybody is different and needs a different formula to help heal themselves. I guess the best formula I can give is to educate yourself, be open to all things, believe in yourself and your opinions, keep going, and be kind and loving to everyone along the way.

What would you do if you were dying? What would you do if a family member was dying? What would you do if a friend was dying? Enough with Pink ribbons and red ribbons, etc, taking action does not mean get a mammogram or donate to a cancer research organization (yes I am actually saying this ) THAT is the brainwashed way to contribute- HELPING means taking matters into your own hands and living a healthy life and helping each other do so and choosing to give yourself whole heartedly to what rings true to YOU. So be brave , experience life, and make the choices that feel best for you no matter what and no matter what ANYBODY else says. YOU are your best advocate so start living like it! Stop searching for the next magic pill and believe in yourself and the concept that everything is ok and life is always working out for us.

Just my judgmental and critical 2cents for now. I just needed a pep talk for myself so thanks for listening to my rant.


Tami xo
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    Author

    Tami Herbst xo

    ​These are my personal experiences, opinions, and beliefs about self-care and and how we all have the power to self-heal. My intention is to give hope, inspiration, and examples of possibility so people can find the strength and information to make informed decisions based on their personal beliefs and needs regarding health and living life. The overall goal is to help ease personal suffering and help people discover that a   happy, healthy, and abundant life awaits them.

    ​Thanks for reading!


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