It’s the day before Easter and I have nothing to do? Are you serious? Making cookies and decorating eggs have never been my thing. Hanging a cross on my wall and saying Hail Mary’s and confessing have never been my thing. Dressing up and going to a Church have never been my thing. Saying prayers out loud and being in a synagogue have never been my thing. Kneeling before somebody or something has never been my thing. So what’s a girl to do? Sleep, Meditate, and see what comes out of my subconscious and moves me to the next.
So that’s exactly what I did. I laid in bed and listened to my Abraham Hicks and meditated for a couple hours this morning. Why not? I jogged outside and stopped at the playground to make up my own workout and then topped it off with taking 5 minutes to go on the swings! Ironically, as soon as I entered the playground the Sun came out! It had been a bit colder and windy when I was jogging but on my way home the playground was a great detour for the afternoon.
Now I find myself shopping at Whole Foods on a Saturday night. That’s a first! I picked up some easter lilies for mom and some ingredients for a new recipe “the colossal healthy candy bar”. (i will post a recipe only if it turns out good) My contribution and/or tithe for the easter brunch at mom’s house. My mom’s house has become “our church” the past 10 years. My mom is like the pastor and she keeps her church immaculate. While I was walking to the store I felt some thoughts coming on like “you don’t have any friends to hang with on a Saturday night?”. Then my brain immediately shifted to my Abraham Hicks mode… “this is awesome!”, “how will you fill your night and make it happy?”, “you have absolutely nothing to do and you can do whatever you want!”. I then entered Whole Foods and started strolling, the flowers were awesome so I bought some! I was surprised at how many people were actually shopping too! I walked aisle by aisle picking out my items and felt lucky to have and feel such freedom. It was a new experience for me
That brings me to Easter. Although I don’t follow any religious faith I have a belief in a "higher source” and a belief that we are all forms of energy and are all connected. I believe we have a chance at every moment to tap into our higher self and create the best life that we desire. I believe that our emotions can help us navigate more successfully to this connection. If it doesn’t feel good, put your thoughts on something immediately that does feel good so you can create that momentum and make all your wishes, desires, and dreams be seen by you and all! Needless to say I got pretty deep at Whole Foods, at least in my head. I am happy to have a place to go on Sunday and congregate with family and friends. I feel a sense of “rebirth” in my own right and feel the need to celebrate. I connect the fun Easter Bunny and Easter eggs to fertility and birth and starting a new. I connect Jesus and resurrection to seeing those powers in myself. I see family time as a means to keep myself grounded and connected while I am here on earth. So yes I’ll take a religious holiday! In fact, I want to celebrate all holidays. Why not? There is always a time to party and say grace, and receive gifts, and give gifts, and love and cherish these moments and people in time. Why not?
It feels good to connect and be with people that love you. It feels good to see all the goodness. I find myself so excited about this personal “resurrection” and so tuned into the possibilities and the beautiful people that surround me, and the fun atmospheres that help make each day joyful. I have soooo many desires and look forward to fulfilling many of them and look forward to all the people , places, and things that are and currently will be in my life or pass through my life. Thank you in advance.
They said be in the moment, do nothing, let go, quiet your mind. They said focus on your emotions and use them to guide you. They said reach for the good feeling stuff. They said this was the way to total health and happiness and abundance.
So this is what I have come up with so far.....
Thanks for taking this self- healing journey with me. It has been a miraculous 30 months since my breast cancer diagnosis.
I am feeling good and looking forward to each day living more in the moment. I continue to learn and expand into the best version of myself while I am physically here. I will be sharing what I have learned and experienced through health coaching, speaking and new music! I am excited for opportunities to connect with even more like minded people. For the rest of my journey I will be focusing on my current state of being and less reflection of the past. I want to leave the past in my shadow and let it subside gradually over time. It's time to really let go and realize all of these 45 years have been part of the journey and I am doing just fine. So thanks past, welcome future, and hello! right now!
I don't even know where to start except by saying I am in a place of peace and quiet and calm and zen and good vibration. I have a strong desire for sunshine and yellow and happy feelings. I drive around Chicago getting my matcha green tea almond milk late with double matcha scoops at whole foods EVERY DAY and I feel a sense of complete bliss when i take that first sip. I walk into Depaul University and greet my students with a smile and laugh and they smile and laugh back when swear words chant from the rap songs during our workout so we all laugh when lil wayne says the word pussy or bitch or hoe or dj girltalk plays how the girls drop it low and shake that ass... it's pretty comical actually. No one is offended and we just go about our day.
I have been to 2 funerals and have been consistently around people with cancer, heart disease, and strokes this past month and ya know what... it is still ok. I am still ok. I cannot believe that in the blink of an eye I can be knee deep in sadness and then I can shift my mood to OKness. I ride to my band shows on the weekend and have my whole process of "getting right" with myself before I even enter the venue. I have lots of chats with myself and ya know what... I am pretty conversational and loving.
I am most proud that I have had the patience to "grow my eyebrows" back. Peep them in this pic to the left. I am not bragging, I just cannot believe that I got wrapped up into tweezing and waxing them for the past 25 years and they got really really short and I was getting a bit self-conscious about them. I had a lady tell me to get them tattooed on so they were not so short.... SOOOOOO glad I did not listen to her... AND I cannot even believe that I contemplated doing that!!! Just another example of letting be what it is naturally and believing that all is ok and going just fabulously. Meanwhile I am saving $20 on eyebrow waxes.
The main point here is that I have had many good feelings and LESS bad feelings and it has been wonderful. It is just proof that what I have been doing is WORKING! This whole emotional journey has been a doozy but it is pretty fascinating to see the laws of the universe and the laws of attraction at work. The idea of going towards the happy feelings and not putting energy and thought towards what does not feel too good has been working tremendously. Before I was over-focusing on what was not working and thinking I had to fix, do better, be better, learn, grow and change to get things done and get things in a better place. I was TOTALLY wrong. I could not have been MORE wrong. I know it seems like if something is not good you want to figure out how to fix it right? EHHHHH! (loud annoying buzzer sound effect) Turns out you need to deflect yourself from the situation and turn it on something that is going well and eventually the other will work itself out. Holy Cow! I really want to keep riding this wave to the best of my ability because it has helped me create a life that is much more enjoyable.
Ha ha! Gettin' my mojo back one day at a time. Just call me PRO- FESS- OR! :)
Thanks for reading.
Tami Herbst xo