A self Journey through dealing with Cancer and how it can Impact your LIFE positively.
Meaning where you at in life? What’s going on with you? How are you seeing things? What’s your perspective? What do you believe about yourself and others and life and the world? How do you fill your days and nights? Do you wake up and start the day negatively or positively? Do you create or react to your days? I think the human I love so much that answers these questions so explicitly in my brain, will be the next man in my life. It’s no longer love connection questions but really soul depth questions and finding out how deep another really is and how connected to soul they are and what they believe about people, themselves, and the world. Wooooow! THAT was OLD sounding but I will take it as OLD SOUL sound healing. It’s nice to see my sassy side reappear, But in a way that is much gentler to my soul. Sassy Tami has always been here and believe it or not she has been transforming and expanding too. SHE is still HERE and you know SHE is my LOVE who will remain FUN and the PARTY girl that I have grown to know and love. Loving your SELF means loving everything about you. The past, present , and future, the decisions, the reactions, the ways of being, the attitudes, the sassy sayings and thoughtful ways ALL encompass WHO you are and WHAT you embody as a human to get to where you want to be.
Nowadays, the Monday morning and every morning ritual is no longer what should I be, I need to be more successful, I need to make more money, I need to do more for others, I need to , I need to , I need to, everything a yucky feeling inside. INSTEAD, it’s how can I start my day off great and create the best feeling day ever! Often, I wake up 1 hr earlier than I need to start my actual schedule of a day , I meditate, listen to some affirmations or positive thinking videos, hang out with the cat, drink my 3 glasses of water, shower, put on my body oils, brush my hair , then check my email before leaving the door. Its’ a pretty good AM shift every day. Day by day and week by week my brain shifts more quickly into positive mode and what I am appreciative of rather than what was wrong and feeling not so good. My cancer journey lit a fire under my ass to figure out how the hell to feel better each day and you know what? I did it! That letting go process proved to be tough but well worth it.
It also came down to relationships AND letting which go has been the hardest task for me this lifetime to date. It has always been hard for me to look at a situation and say out loud and admit to myself that it just was not the best feeling for me. Especially when other people are involved and I love them. My communication skills have slowly improved and hopefully the future holds soul to soul compassionate conversations that are loving and involved around doing what is best for the self and all parties involved. My non-confrontational attitude seemed to hinder me and really did not protect me from what was best. Now I know. Thx 45 years of relationship stuff. Glad to know the 2nd half will be more easy peasy. Taking things personal and being non-reactive proved to be very detrimental and not what was best.
Negative thoughts about myself gathered from people, places, situations, things, environments seemed to also be vibrating and causing much angst for myself. Glad it’s over. Figured it out. On to the next thing. Tami really is kinda pretty and smart and fun and adventurous and playful and ambitious and creative. I think I kinda like her and I am hopeful most see the new shine in my stride. That old vibration is kicked to the side and has delayed years of happy, BUT maybe I needed it to grow fully into who I am now becoming. So excited for the future and what it holds and what I choose to do with it! My vibrations are getting higher and I am including every day “time” to really connect with myself and vibrate to the highest level so I have the best version of me to give away then refuel for the next day.
As always, thanks for reading and listening.